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What was love back then?:
If I say love is a
lot more done than said Would you believe me:
For years I have been questioning love existence and until
today I still do sometimes. Well I have seen people die in the name of love and
also seen people survive because of love which is surprising for me. I never
thought someday I would fall in love but then again Life is journey. I think I
now know what love is because I have felt that strong feeling about someone
else apart from my parents. For me it was a bad fall though.
Well for years many young people thought that love is just
someone’s happiness and being together well maybe also paying attention to
them. That is the reason for this perception that a boy/Man that truly loves
you will constantly check on you and text you frequently. While a woman who
truly loves a man will answer her phone and never disrespect her lover. Being a
woman that a man needs and supporting his dreams and needs. Well that is true
but does it define what love truly is ? Well I would say doing all these things
for your man will make him special and loved which is very good especially in a
active relationship however I would disagree that these acts are what love is.
I have discovered a sad truth that love is a very strong
feeling which causes people to change and become people they never thought they
would ever be.
My research has discovered that out of 100% there is only 45% of
youth that truly knows what love is and have felt love and had their lives
changed because of loving somebody else. Now I need you to read and consider
this when we are all single we have our own plans and goals in life which are
hard to accomplish at time also plans that need focus and time. But when we
find that persons who says they love us and we are likely to fall for that. The
question is then WHY DO YOU DATE SOMEONE IN THE FIRST PLACE?. Okay you love
that person but does that love have any kind of purpose. Will loving or being
loved by someone change anything positively? Will it help me reach my goals in
life? How will my life change because of love ? We all want something that will
benefit us in the end don’t you ?
Research shows that back in 1973 boys generation had changed
drastically compared to the generation of boys in the 20th century.
Back then boys lives was mainly about transformation and manhood principals
which entitled every boy to live a purposeful life where they would set goal
for themselves and work on being the man that every woman would be proud off
and a man that their parents would be proud off. So falling in love was not
just an act but a true action that needed true determination for a goal that
has been set. Likely a girl would not be aware of the boys plans until told
that marriage needs to be arranged. Back then one reason that differentiated a boy
from a man was marriage and the ability
to take responsibility for their actions. When a girls tittle was changed to
Mrs that was considered as an honour to a man that married that girl. Every
child born was a blessing for the community and family which meant that that
boy was a man of actions and responsibilities. With all that he was then a man
of integrity and dignity among other men.
Marriage was every boys dream which encouraged him to stand
up and man up for his family. It was beyond just an honour to be called a man
of the house ( Pillar of a home). Every boy back then had to grow up find jobs
and choose their soul mates among girlfriends they had then considering the
fact that in an African society it is a norm( even today) that a boy will have
more than one girlfriend but the difference back then was not just a tendency
but for a wise selection when time came for a boy to be married. I would say it
was some kind of strategy to help them choose a wise and beautiful girl to be
his wife. So respect and dignity was primary qualities a boy looked for in
every girl he dated no man would marry a girl without certain qualities. Families
would then search for qualities and behaviour a girl has in order to fully
accept that girl in the family cycle. That girl will then be called a wife and
a mother after time. Respect for the man together with their families in the
community was amazing. Families carried that special wisdom which everyone
eventually see and adore.
Back then love was not usually said out loud like today but somehow love was an action word which transformed peoples lives. Love was respect and honour a man had for his wife and family, Wisdom that their children would grow up too. Love went deeper than special treatment but it was more of life changing actions which encouraged people to get married and love their spouses, Now take a look at our African societies where everything is about words and not actions. Boys of today have thousands girlfriends without a serious intentions and sleeping with them all without marrying even one of them which was considered disrespect back then.Back then a boy who breaks a girls virginity was required to pay for damages and that required responsibility not our today's generation where sleeping around is now a hobby. It is sad how boys keep destroying young girls who would make incredible wives and mother's one day. All these things are quiet depressing because we are in a stage where no women wants to get married. Women of today are tormented in such a way that they work hard to live better lives and take care of their families/Children's where that beautiful union of man and women is now deceived. In our days why would you date is the first place when you can get everything for your self as a woman?
I would then conclude by stating that there is less that is not told in our societies therefore complaining and crying will not restore all those values that our African societies once had but working hard and questioning everything remains the best tool for a better life choices and decisions in life. With all these social issues that our country have at the moment I still think we can somehow change something or someones mind set. There is always something someone can do to bring change in our communities. Find what you love and work with it to save South Africa and remember education is everything. Until then men and women are all the same
Slondile Dlamini
Nicely composed article.
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